remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
