Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
