party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
