the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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