We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
