Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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