Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Randomize
