i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
