he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sarcasm needs its own font
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
