Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
