could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
