her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
