Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
