Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
