On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
