Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
