You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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