i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
