wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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