She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
