3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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