So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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