i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We're too hungover to prance.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
