i would punch a child for taco bell
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
