i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
