is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
