I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
