was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
