I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
