somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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