More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
did you just send me my own nude
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
