She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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