im gay
i know
yea but for you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
