Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
