I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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