You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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