I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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