yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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