I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
