Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
