Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
