I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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