Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
