where does the pee come out of this thing
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
