Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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