Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
not ubering you a puppy
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
