Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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