i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
