So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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