I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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