I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
